MY heart... HIS playground

I wish he Could just realize.... Realize that when I'm fa real, I AM FA REAL. That I want it, I want my heart to be comfortable in a cloud that's so far up, that birds will need extra oxygen just to reach it. I want that Awkward love. The love you are scared to get in return... Lol the good genuine stuff. But he doesn't see that. He sees a naïve little girl that "just wants to have fun", He sees an open heart, draining from being on the outside of a sleeve... An emotional disability... Handicapped by the past heart breaks that has been forgiven but never forgotten.. He sees an open opportunity to go to the monkey bars in my heart ....like a playground. For nothing seems mature enough to be anything else. He finds it entertaining, I wish all was called to halt... For the swinging is irritating my HEART and my feelings from bumping against it... So I push... Push for new ways to keep him away from the swing, but all I find is a trap that pushes him on the swing harder and harder... I am strong, I can take it... but my insides are bleeding from the hard bump. my lungs are filling up with blood and my soul is about to collapse and explode... But I think not... SATAN GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY HEART! For the only one that is gentle enough to care for my heart is God. You can no longer climb the Jungle Jim and have your way. MY heart is not your PLAYGROUND!